I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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