I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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