Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
