She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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