Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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