hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
