I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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