Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
