Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
PANTIES FOUND
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