I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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