so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
