Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
