Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
