You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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