He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
