he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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