I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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