I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
