I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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