Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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