I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
