I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What a dumb baby whore.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
