This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
