Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
