well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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