Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
soo... how was my night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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