Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
