I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
