The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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