Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
