it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
