So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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