Will you blow on my dice?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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