Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
