I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
