My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
