I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's shark week go big or go home
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
