Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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