Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
