Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
