Barsexuality is the new black.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
