Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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