So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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