would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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