All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
