chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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