I puked a lego.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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