never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
