I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
