how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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