last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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