Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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